Its a winters day in my neck of the woods. The house is silent and squeaky clean. The neighbour is practicing her piano and i can tell she is getting better by the day.
And i am looking down the barrel of my long cup of tea wondering where is the river of life taking me.
Having quit a corporate life I am adjusting to the life of a self employed entrepreneur. Time and silence become surplus. No crazy travel schedules, no meetings madness, no deadlines. Just space to shape your day the way you feel. And you have time to observe your intentions and actions.
I am learning that i don’t like to hustle and cold call and sell my services. I wonder how that’s going to help me get clients. I am smiling to myself as i say this…
I am observing that it felt good calling my mum today after i felt she was under the weather. She was sounding much better today. That felt good. I like taking care of her and just talking to her to lift her spirits. She’s going to be 89 this year. What a woman…lives alone, still drives her car, wants to teach peace and harmony in war torn countries.
I just got up and lit some incense in the house. It makes me feel at ease. I have a small corner in the house where i keep a bunch of idols of different religions. Its a small sanctuary of spiritual supermen and women that i visit to say `
i do thy will'
I don’t know where my life is headed but i know that it needs to be in service of a cause greater than myself. I want to help people feel their divinity and let go of their suffering self.
I want to help millions feel whole and complete. I write for this reason. Its my soul speaking and spreading the creative energy of the universe.
Its not easy though. Being me at this moment. I am full of doubt and lethargy. I constantly need a shot of Tony Robbins in a day to keep my sails up. I lose my wind a lot and roll my eyes to the heaven as a try to learn how to embed a email software into my website. I feel like a man building a new house with a DIY instruction manual open in front of him and it reads page 2 of 200.
I just have a rule that i follow. I do stuff that i know is going to help me grow into the me i know i am becoming.
So i exercise daily. Meditate daily. Show love and kind attention to my wife daily. Write daily. Build my website daily. Be grateful daily. Be in the moment as many times as i can in the day.
I know that the future me is a giant compared to who i have been. I just have to grow into it. Day by day.
If you are struggling with your reinvention journey, hold my hand and know that i feel you. Just keep walking buddy. Don’t you give up. You are not alone.