The Power of a Still, Fearless Mind
“Anxiety follows freedom as its shadow.”
My mum told me that when I was about to leave home to start my career in a new country. One of few life lessons that I have come to recognize as being paradoxical and profound.
Life is a game we play between our two minds. The bold and the timid. We crave freedom and then we fear its consequences. We crave freedom and then feel anxious when we encounter its precipice, and want to trade it in for something easier.
That is why over the last few decades, I have traded many things over my freedom.
As a teenager, I wanted to be a travel writer like Pico Iyer but I traded that for a secure corporate job that got me out of poverty and confinement of my circumstances. Well, that was a form of freedom, relatively speaking. Like a show animal in a Circus. I was allowed to roam free in my cage as long I was friendly to the kids and the ringmaster. That got me quite far. Got me my million-dollar homes and my Platinum for Life flying status.
I have traded pleasure, pain, and politeness for freedom many times.
The times when I should have said no to that gaslighting girlfriend. Said no to those hookers. The times I should have said no to chasing that shiny award at all cost. The times I should have slammed the door on my ungrateful brother who has only hate for me and our mother.
But now I crave the cold winds on the jagged cliff of freedom.
I crave the hot coals of freedom under my feet.
With all its fears and its flaws.
I am ready with naked compassion to face all my hate and anger.
I am raging to make a fool of myself in all my attempts to heal with words.
I am desperate to walk that thin line between madness and magic in the service of my dream.
I am finally ready to shamelessly serve my soul mate.
I could not care a damn if no one comes where I am headed.
I am barefoot and breathless for unconditional love.
All I want now is the power of a Still, Fearless Mind.