Finding 20: Through the burn of suffering will rise a healing light.
“What is to give light, must endure burning”- Victor Frankl
Imagine you are 5 or 7 or 10 years old and find a memory of feeling alone and unloved and sad. Remember that feeling again in its raw detail. I am sure you will find at least one.
Remember how it made you feel that day and many days after. Maybe you hid it away , maybe no one saw your hurt and tears . maybe you did not tell anyone because you thought that no one cares or because you did not want to burden your mum or dad who were already suffering. When you find that kid in your mind go up to him or her and bend down on your knees and hug them. Hug them hard and don’t let go .
They will resist and tell you its ok but you don’t let go . You hold onto them and tell them that its ok . That they are ok. And that you love them unconditionally . You love them no matter how bad the thing they did might have been. Tell them you love them because they are unique .You love them because they are special and you could not be here in this place in your life without what they went through. Tell them you are one of a kind on this planet and yet never alone.
Tell them they did not come alone into this world. They grew out of nature therefore they are intrinsically a part of nature. Nature is their universal family and nature loves you as much as they love all its creatures.
Hug them and tell your lonely younger self that they are beautiful and the universe is delighted to express itself uniquely through them. Nature does not compare its creations. It treats each one equally and fairly. We all come out of nature and go back into it .
In doing so you have discovered your light of forgiveness. Now you can forgive unconditionally.
Forgiveness arises in you if you realise you are consciousness and cannot be harmed or defeated. The aggressor then turns from being threatening to be a fallible child in your lap who is not conscious of his or her actions.
You can now forgive those that think you are incomplete.
To forgive stands in opposition to defend.
In the presence of this inner light it is easy to forgive the rudeness of your co passenger or partner or colleague. You forgive them and feel it’s more a cry for help from their part and not because you are being harmed or made to feel incomplete in any way.
Its like if a crow was to shout at you in crow tongue or a sea gull was raving madgulling at you , would you think less of yourself or would you wonder if they needed some help or were warning us of some danger ahead.
You would hear with empathy or mild amusement.
I think forgiveness is a divine energy that we have as humans to see each others divinity.
It’s a bridge on which humanity can stand and cross and collaborate and co create with great benefits for the people and the planet.
It’s the antidote to our ego.
By forgiving you prevent your ego to intervene and create the illusion that it is protecting you. It is not …the ego is just strengthening itself if it asks you to defend yourself.
This light of forgiveness when wrapped around ourselves starts to dissolve the ego’s hangouts in the mind and heart.
Its like opening the window in a cold musty room that has been shut in our minds with all our guilt and shame and self loathing stored under the safe keeping of the ego.
We trusted the ego to protect us from harm by allowing it to convince us that we were separate from the world and that we were inferior in some ways that could be hidden . The ego would then give us a mask in return that we could wear and step out and feel shielded and strong.
While the ego watched over us smiling in glee. You see how social conditioning has worked into us ever so slowly to voluntarily accept our self guilt and incompleteness to the point that we think its our fault that we are who we are.
The light has another quality — the feeling of humility.
This energy of humility when felt protects us from any form of enhancement that the ego might want to extend to you as a trap to bewitch you and get you to identify with it.
Lets say you did very well in class and stood first or did a great presentation to the group and received a lot of applause. The ego rises in you and takes the credit for your work and pats itself on the shoulder for a great achievement. You feel amazing and so does your ego.
But notice what the ego in you has done. It has divided you from the rest.
Its you and the rest of the world. You did better than them. You deserve the applause. But you get identified to that applause. The next time the applause does not come or you get criticised you feel bad and discontented and angry at the world. You are now in the grip of the ego and giving it more energy and food to strengthen in you.
It agrees that you have been wronged and you as a separate special entity are now feeling incomplete.
But if you replace this hubris of the ego with the light of humility you allow the mind to not feel attached to the outcome and feel whole and complete no matter what the outcome was. You become stronger as a result. You remain as peaceful with the highs as the lows. The feeling that this light brings is that its not me who is doing this it’s the universe action thorough me .
You start to dedicate the acts of your mind and body to the universe and therefore being a part of it instead of being apart from it.