How to be free in a world of seductive guises.

Image by Art Skoo from Pixabay

Instead of buying it.

You have to take responsibility for manufacturing your own joy. If you try and outsource this skill, you run the risk of getting lost in the maze of depreciating choices.

I used to buy all my joy from the world outside. Money, Fame, Love, Relationships, Status. I had them all. In fact, I still have them. But I found the more I got them the more I wanted more. It was frankly getting to be an expensive affair.

So I tried a different experiment. To try and make my own jam of joy. One that needed no shopping. …

Image by MichaelGaida from Pixabay

“Every individual acts and suffers in accordance with his peculiar teleology, which has all the inevitability of fate, so long as he does not understand it.” - Alfred Adler.

While reading Alfred Adler, the 20th century Austrian psychotherapist, i learnt why dealing with neglect in early life can end up ruling and sometimes ruining your life. I will share some of his wisdom on how he recommends dealing with it.

But first let me tell you my story of neglect to set the scene.

I suddenly lost my dad to a heart attack when i was 11. My mother coped…

And escape from the `master’ mind.

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

If material success is not filling you up— you might be enslaved by your `master’ mind. You need to find a way to your `heightened self’.

On the summit of my success, i found the unclimbed mountain of my self.

…I had this shocking realization at the height of my material success.

I am one of those men who spent his youth dreaming of becoming a multi-millionaire. But when I got there I found a spiritual hole. I tried to enjoy the trappings of success for a while but the longer I tried to hold onto my shell, the more…

Freedom and the 9 movements to get there.

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

“Is it possible to wake up some mornings and feel incapable of loving…when you feel nothing…nothing at all.”- a text from a very happy, successful friend this morning.

I was there.

Caged in a gemstone mind.

With a glass full of goal coins and yet desperately thirsty for joy. Unable to find peace no matter how hard I worked. My goals made me gasp for air. I could not answer “what should I aim for in life ?”

The last few years have been a quest to answer this question. I have found many gems in the course of my…

Notes while reading Carl R. Rogers — On Becoming a Person.

Image by Christian Supik (Fotografie) + Manuela Pleier (Design) from Pixabay

Underneath all my research into resolving my self-doubts, fears and paranoia lies one central search…a search for uncovering my real self. This book found me and gave me some answers. So I thought I should share some of what I found.

“It seems to me that at the bottom each person is asking — who am i, really ? How can i get in touch with this real self, underlying all my surface behaviour? How can i become myself ?”- Carl. R. Rogers

Carl R. Rogers was a professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin and active…


Chapter 23: Jordan Recoils

Photo by Dan Senior on Unsplash

Jordan suddenly became wary of Marco as he set foot on Dover beach.

The Seagulls were squabbling over some rotting fish. A child was bawling in protest as his frustrated mother dragged him out of the freezing water. The tide was going out, and the ocean had rejected some plastic and wooden garbage on the cold scrubbed white pebbles.

Marco was still talking to Jordan and belligerent about the Ad World article and its contents. He empathized with Jordan for over 10 minutes and lamented the poor standards of the journalists who were stooping to sensationalism to sell their magazines.


Chapter 22: Quiet Deja VU Weekend

A crumpled with a book on the pillow looking out to a view of the ocean with the cliffs of Dover in the corner.
Photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash

“Arguments are to be avoided, they are always vulgar and often convincing.”― Oscar Wilde

Jordan checked the traffic on his route to Dover to escape the chaos of the week.

He was on his way to a B&B in Capel-le-Ferne for the weekend. Jordan used to go there sometimes as a boy with his parents when they were still alive. He still loved going there to get away from the hustle of London life. Capel-le-Ferne was a tiny village of about 1000 inhabitants situated near Folkestone, Kent. Its name came from the 16th century Chapel there surrounded by ferns. …


Chapter 21: "Do You Have Any Comments?"

Newspaper vendor stand in a open square with newspapers in the rack.
Photo by Hatice Yardım on Unsplash

“News is something somebody doesn’t want printed; all else is advertising.”― William Randolph Hearst

"Hi, Jordan; this is Katherine from Advertising World. Tomorrow, we will run a cover story about why KCH is the worst place to work for women in advertising. Do you have any comments?"

Jordan had just reached back to the office after being told by Audrey Hamilton that they had lost the Bayside Resorts pitch. And before he could settle down and inform the team, this call had crashed into his eye-watering busy day.

Katherine's sensational headline took Jordan by surprise. Advertising World was the leading…


Chapter 20: The Last Lunch

Boats on a river on a sunny calm blue sky day.
Photo by Alan Findlay on Unsplash

Sometimes you wish, the stranger you crossed paths with was a friend.

Jordan arrived well in time (twenty minutes early) for his lunch with Audrey at the wrong restaurant.

The Riverside Albany, unlike The Albany, was at the other end of the Southbank from where he stood gazing at the painfully slow-moving London Eye. There was a Gay Pride parade passing through the area, and the traffic was moving at snail speed.

Jordan had two options. Call Audrey and ask her to walk towards him and meet him somewhere in the middle or walk to her in his flashy Amazon…


Chapter 19: Audrey Disappoints

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”― Alexander Pope

Audrey paced her polished pinewood floor in her Waldorf Hilton encrusted bathrobe and slippers, unable to decide how to break the bad news to Sir Kendall.

She had just got off the phone with Bruce.

After evaluating the two agency presentations last week, they had decided on the winner. It was not KCH. While KCH was the more potent creative force among the two, the incumbent agency, Crispin & Kennedy, knew the challenges and opportunities of her business much better.

While KCH impressed her with their…

Andy Travis

Curious about what makes us tick, tickle and other similar black holes. ;

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