You have to take responsibility for manufacturing your own joy. If you try and outsource this skill, you run the risk of getting lost in the maze of depreciating choices.
I used to buy all my joy from the world outside. Money, Fame, Love, Relationships, Status. I had them all. In fact, I still have them. But I found the more I got them the more I wanted more. It was frankly getting to be an expensive affair.
So I tried a different experiment. To try and make my own jam of joy. One that needed no shopping. …
“Every individual acts and suffers in accordance with his peculiar teleology, which has all the inevitability of fate, so long as he does not understand it.” - Alfred Adler.
While reading Alfred Adler, the 20th century Austrian psychotherapist, i learnt why dealing with neglect in early life can end up ruling and sometimes ruining your life. I will share some of his wisdom on how he recommends dealing with it.
But first let me tell you my story of neglect to set the scene.
I suddenly lost my dad to a heart attack when i was 11. My mother coped…
If material success is not filling you up— you might be enslaved by your `master’ mind. You need to find a way to your `heightened self’.
On the summit of my success, i found the unclimbed mountain of my self.
…I had this shocking realization at the height of my material success.
I am one of those men who spent his youth dreaming of becoming a multi-millionaire. But when I got there I found a spiritual hole. I tried to enjoy the trappings of success for a while but the longer I tried to hold onto my shell, the more…
“Is it possible to wake up some mornings and feel incapable of loving…when you feel nothing…nothing at all.”- a text from a very happy, successful friend this morning.
I was there.
Caged in a gemstone mind.
With a glass full of goal coins and yet desperately thirsty for joy. Unable to find peace no matter how hard I worked. My goals made me gasp for air. I could not answer “what should I aim for in life ?”
The last few years have been a quest to answer this question. I have found many gems in the course of my…
Underneath all my research into resolving my self-doubts, fears and paranoia lies one central search…a search for uncovering my real self. This book found me and gave me some answers. So I thought I should share some of what I found.
“It seems to me that at the bottom each person is asking — who am i, really ? How can i get in touch with this real self, underlying all my surface behaviour? How can i become myself ?”- Carl. R. Rogers
Carl R. Rogers was a professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin and active…
I wish you a fresh start without fear.
The best fresh start feeling I have is that of packing my school bag for the first day of class in a new year. I used to love getting crisp brown paper sheets and wrapping each notebook and book of that year and then writing my name proudly on top. I loved to fill my bag with these new smelling packs of knowledge that were waiting to be unfolded. There was so much hope and anticipation in my steps as I entered the class. …
Let's talk about what makes us weak.
Pornography made me weak. Smoking made me weak. Anger made me weak. They used to control me. Now I control them. These are my hacks to overcome what made me weak.
Let’s demonstrate these 5 hacks with an example. Let’s talk about something we can all get excited about…Internet Porn.
I used to love it. I had my favorite channel and genres. I even had my…
So you want that million-dollar corner house. Good.
Your ambition, talent, drive, and a touch of luck will get you there. As you drive into that shining beauty check one other thing. What is your psychological address? It’s the address that your mind lives in.
Our minds tend to do what the heck it wants. Check now if you don't believe me. Did it just curse you for being too nosy? Or did it just flash you your naked butt from high school when you tried to piss in your Principal’s favorite daffodils? It does not really matter what it…
Letting go can feel like giving up. But it's not. Here are a few ways to understand and live the difference.
As a start, I found the verse from the Bhagvat Gita quite helpful.
To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction.
- (Verse 47, Chapter 2, The Bhagavadgita)
“My life didn’t please me, so I created my life.”
― Coco Chanel
You might reach a point in your life when you outgrow your ego.
Or realize that your ego (where there is someone inside your head) is just a thought. Like all other passing thoughts. At that point, you will gain control of your mind. That point will come slowly but hopefully, surely.
You should want that for your life.
After all the fame and the money and the sex and the rock and roll. You should want a tranquil mind. The most elusive and most precious real…