You have to take responsibility for manufacturing your own joy. If you try and outsource this skill, you run the risk of getting lost in the maze of depreciating choices.
I used to buy all my joy from the world outside. Money, Fame, Love, Relationships, Status. I had them all. In fact, I still have them. But I found the more I got them the more I wanted more. It was frankly getting to be an expensive affair.
So I tried a different experiment. To try and make my own jam of joy. One that needed no shopping. …
“Every individual acts and suffers in accordance with his peculiar teleology, which has all the inevitability of fate, so long as he does not understand it.” - Alfred Adler.
While reading Alfred Adler, the 20th century Austrian psychotherapist, i learnt why dealing with neglect in early life can end up ruling and sometimes ruining your life. I will share some of his wisdom on how he recommends dealing with it.
But first let me tell you my story of neglect to set the scene.
I suddenly lost my dad to a heart attack when i was 11. My mother coped…
If material success is not filling you up— you might be enslaved by your `master’ mind. You need to find a way to your `heightened self’.
On the summit of my success, i found the unclimbed mountain of my self.
…I had this shocking realization at the height of my material success.
I am one of those men who spent his youth dreaming of becoming a multi-millionaire. But when I got there I found a spiritual hole. I tried to enjoy the trappings of success for a while but the longer I tried to hold onto my shell, the more…
“Is it possible to wake up some mornings and feel incapable of loving…when you feel nothing…nothing at all.”- a text from a very happy, successful friend this morning.
I was there.
Caged in a gemstone mind.
With a glass full of goal coins and yet desperately thirsty for joy. Unable to find peace no matter how hard I worked. My goals made me gasp for air. I could not answer “what should I aim for in life ?”
The last few years have been a quest to answer this question. I have found many gems in the course of my…
Underneath all my research into resolving my self-doubts, fears and paranoia lies one central search…a search for uncovering my real self. This book found me and gave me some answers. So I thought I should share some of what I found.
“It seems to me that at the bottom each person is asking — who am i, really ? How can i get in touch with this real self, underlying all my surface behaviour? How can i become myself ?”- Carl. R. Rogers
Carl R. Rogers was a professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin and active…
Lara heard the key turn in the door again. Lara dreaded the worst as she sat up in bed, terrified and yet curious. It had been just an hour since the Queen had left. The door opened, and it was the Trans male nurse. He was now dressed in a jumper and blue jeans with sneakers.
He gave Lara a big smile and said, “Tadaaaa...Time to be Cinderella, Baby”. He was quite excited and had a naughty glint in his eyes as he looked at Lara.
“The queen has sent me to doll you up for a photoshoot, baby. You…
“What is the auction for?” Michel asked, looking suspicious and curious.
Jan looked at Michel thoughtfully, choosing his words carefully, “It’s a live auction for spending quality time with some exceptional girls who have just joined our company.” He stopped and looked at Michel to check for interest /reaction. Satisfied with what he saw, he continued, “They have just arrived here, and we always start them off by offering them to our select group of clients to get the first taste of our new stock.”
“And is this different from the company you just offered to me?” …
The devil anoints his disciples with fear.
Lara’s stone-cold eyes looked through her tears at the queen.
The Queen walked around Lara like a vulture circling its prey from the sky.
“You have a few choices, Lara,” the queen continued, “ You can try to escape…I would not recommend that. Here are some pictures of some of the girls who tried that.” The queen showed Lara pictures of women who had been brutally beaten and tortured, some in handcuffs and some lying in hospital beds.
The Queen kept looking at Lara’s shock and fear and the gruesome photos, as she…
Michel got out of the lift, turned, and walked towards the Club at the end of the corridor. “Can I help you, sir?” asked one of the bouncers blocking Michel’s way from entering.
“Hi, Lukás said I could meet someone here who could help me find some company tonite, replied Michel sounding upbeat and confident.
“Can I see some ID, please?” the bouncer asked again in the same monotone voice.
Michel took out his passport and held it out for the man to check. He looked at the passport and took out a machine from his pocket that scanned the…
Lara woke up in a hot sweat from her nightmare.
In her dream, she saw Michel being chased by some men while Lara watched, handcuffed, from a distance, helpless and unable to do anything. She missed Michel so much right now. She felt full of regret and guilt for not making up him after the fight. She regretted going out clubbing with strangers and then swallowing an MDMA pill with a guy who she did not know at all. She had no real memory of how she got to this new city and where Michel was. …